THE LIES THAT PEOPLE TELL THEMSELVES and the people who follow.....

I haven't posted a blog in a long time, but I felt it was time to do so. My last blog focused on what we as a people of color need to do to better our communities, lift ourselves up and lead.

This blog is on a more personal tip.

It's been a difficult stretch of months for my family and I. We recently lost someone very near and dear to us. At the time of this I was in Panama trying restructure my life, I guess. I traveled there with a woman I called my girlfriend and for the most part she fit the role perfectly. She often claimed to have my back and would stand by me shoulder to shoulder. I thank her for that, I do.

BRAVO, well played!

But, as time had trickled by I began to notice various alarming things about her personality I ignored which today I fully regret.

You see after losing this person in my life, this so-called girlfriend stud by me, but after realizing I needed to get back on that proverbial horse and rebuild my life, this person within three months of suffering the most devastating lost in my life decided it's time for her to come out and free herself from our 'trouble" relationship.

TROUBLED? WHAT?

Yea, it wasn't perfect, but nothing is ever perfect. We traveled the world together, almost had a child together, gain a dog together, were close to buying a house together, and little do she know I was close to dropping to the one knee.

Look it's her right first and foremost, to move on. It's entirely different when that person acts as if the other person was horrible and everyone saw it but me.

Don't make me laugh!

Oh, to those things I noticed about this person, well I began to see how often she takes the truth and twist them. Recently, after I expressed my love for her and wanted to talk so that we can workout things, she went silent. Then I discovered this post indicating how liberated she suddenly is now that she has freed herself from me. Our relationship was a farce, an act that she felt compelled to keep up for five years. I couldn't believe it. It cut deep. I'm not perfect, but I am not what this person is or has been saying I was.

In the mist of our 5 year relationship she has constantly been painting herself as innocent, sweet, and level headed.

THIS IS A LIE!

I'm not trying to come out and sound like a sour grapes kind of person, but the audacity of her to paint our time as hellish is sad, wrong, and sick.

Now mind you I am still dealing with my lost, in which case, she compared how other family members are dealing with the lost and how I should match them. The nerve of her to tell me how I need to grieve.

When you think someone cares for you and you find out they don't that sucks, but when you find out someone lives in a delusional world where she is innocent of all wrong doing and you are suddenly a villain that, that sucks even more.

I hate how she gets to masquerade around like her shit don't stink with her family patting her on the back. Mind you this is the same family she has hurled all types of insults about for not letting her lead her own life. She uses friends that she has made as spring boards to lift herself up. That's something they don't know, but this is what she does. Honestly I thought two particular friends would truly help out. They are strong and beautiful, and have an I don't give a damn I can do anything kind of attitude despite having physical aliments. I admire these two and hoped that this very attitude would rub off on this person, but instead she paints me as a heel so that they can congratulate her for freeing herself.

The magazine she started - I pushed her to do. After years of talking about it, I wanted her to put her money where her mouth is. She did, but she over budgeted herself thus she lost more then she gained. The way to fix this, charge for advertising, but she wouldn't do it. Blamed me and said I was pushing her to hard. HELLO! This is your dream.

Stepping away from being a long term nanny and going after her career - I pushed her to do it. Again, talking about running a marathon won't win the race.

Introduced her to New Orleans, which in some ways I truly regret, but not simply because of her -- the personal lost thing again. Sorry guys.

Anyway, in NOLA she began to work for a company that while was a headache to work for, it sure helped her build her resume and learn things.

Zipping away and heading to PANAMA - yep me again, found her a job too, but that was hell and every evening while in this great country I had to hear about how it sucks and everything financially is on her.

Oh, I'm sorry, I only paid for us to be her. Wait! and I paid for us to get to NOLA too. (But, this is just being in a relationship, idiot)

I know it sounds like I'm taking the credit for her growth into the liberated woman she supposedly has become. I'm not, she busted her ass and I am proud of her, but I'm not the villain she's making me out to be. Honestly I deserve better. I thought I had that with her.

But, THESE ARE THE LIES PEOPLE TELL THEMSELVES.

People like this suck!

You know what, BRITTNEY SCHERING, in hindsight, you suck!